They are happy in hanging around, going in and out of relationships; they need company but are not ready for a lifelong commitment.

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A couple that is focused on God will naturally have a more blessed marriage because they are bound together by the strong “three strands” that Solomon talks about The husband, the wife and God. Ecclesiastes 4:12

Are you shocked to read the heading? Haven’t you heard it from our parents, relatives, friends at least once or on a regular basis? Sometimes we hear it seriously, sometimes as a joke, some other times in a quarrel or every time every day all around us we hear it from someone somewhere. Don’t we joke about marriage being a hell and the wedding day as becoming a curse day or black day or the day you never wanted to remember? It’s the biggest mistake, its hell on earth, marriage is end of freedom, it’s a burden, are these not the first best suitable phrases we all use for our marriages? Even from pulpits the so called ‘godly’ men joke about their partners calling then even a ‘cross’ and they vow to never repeat the mistake they have ever done in their life if they get another opportunity,at least not to marry the same person. How often do we hear from anyone – ‘our marriage is a beautiful experience which we will barter with nothing in the world’? We, who are experienced users, degrade and deteriorate the splendour of the brand ‘marriage’ to the lowest level ever possible.

Have we ever thought what affects our words, attitude, thoughts towards marriage are putting on the young minds around us? It’s our dangerous and demeanour attitude towards marriage that leads our youth to a heinous level. They are hesitating to take up commitments as they have an exaggerated estimation of the cost of marriage. From our attitude and words of losing the peace in marriage, they misunderstand that joyous life is almost over after marriage. They are happy in hanging around, going in and out of relationships; they need company but are not ready for a lifelong commitment. With this low level attitude towards marriage, our young generation enters into wedlock which then ends up in a bigger disaster,in hurry to fix up marriages they look for ‘five easy tips to fix marriages’. We know the end then—it’s the end of a marriage. Some souls ripped apart, tiny kids have to decide their right eye is better or their left eye. That’s what they feel when asked by the judge “whom do you want to live with”? And it’s a terrible truth that, the fully literate population also fall under the statistics of a broken family. As per the teachings of Christ we who are supposed to be the light and salt have ended up being a shame to Christ and His cross having a tag of uncultured, drunkards, partygoers, who change their partners as clothes, now these broken marriages are proof to our style of life.

We terribly need to change our attitude and thinking towards marriage. Something which is planned, instituted and ordained by GOD can’t be such devastation. The first time the phrase ‘not good’ was used, when Adam was alone. Marriage is a process and the best way kept by God for our sanctification. The truth is that there is no tips or shortcuts to a happy marriage. No one is perfect in this fallen world. The only way out is to accept and love the person with weaknesses and strengths. The measure of love and mercy that we received from God on the cross is unlimited and unconditional. The same unconditional love has to be extended to our better-half on a daily basis. It means to love a person, even if our spouse is deserving it or not, just as God loved us when we were yet sinners, both undeserving and unworthy to be loved. When we grow in conformity to Christ and towards Him daily, this growth will result in good parenthood, good relationship and effectiveness in ministry. We gradually learn to forgive, share, care, submit, obey, respect, honour and to be humble in obedience to God. We learn to promote and encourage each other, we treasure and cherish each other.   Then we will be a boost and boon to each other in ministry, spiritual and professional life.  Our marriage will be our strength rather than our burden. Let our pulpits be all praise and gratitude to God for our marriages. Let’s fear God and stop calling our marriages a life equal to hell or comparing it with the ‘cross’. Let’s stop making fun of the institution ordained by God by calling it the end of all joyous life. When we live our family life with joy and satisfaction wishing it would never end and yearning for each other, excited to be together, then the people who are around us and are noticing us will often wonder about the magical life of marriage and be grateful to God for planning about it. At least, may the people intimate to us put their faith back on marriages when they see our attitude towards our marriage.

Article by Merry Ligish – Mumbai